20.7.09

The Product of Past Situations

I have a lotta baggage. Point.Blank.Period. & its really difficult for people to understand me---even folks who've known me since i was madd young. I've been thinking about it and i can understand why im so misunderstood. I've experienced certain things that impacted me in a major way & i deal with things differently than most people i know. Certain things that some consider minor, i consider total disrespect.

Im not the type to use my past as a crutch---even though sometimes it would make shit a ton easier..i know its not right. I admit i do have my moments when i ask myself why people fuck with me cuz i can be a bitch. There are times when i step out of certain situations & analyze em & i realize i wouldnt even fuck with myself if i wasnt me.

Yes i do take certain things the wrong way but its only because i've been there before so the way i take shit is usually the default mode. For instance, if my last boyfriend said he'd call & didnt because he was doing something he wasnt supposed to, when the new dude does the same thing im gonna automatically assume its the same situation.**sidebar**thats just an example..im fucked up when it comes to more than dudes**I know thats fucked up & not the right way to do shit but its a reflex.

At the end of the day, im one prideful motherfucker & id rather apologize for being wrong than crying cuz i got hurt anytime. Shits complicated. Idk. One things for sure tho..

Im pretty messed up.

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