coping by living.

Im sure all of yall are aware of the destructive 7.0 magnitude earthquake that literally shattered my hometown of Haiti this past Tuesday afternoon. As devastating as it was, i beileve that we are a strong people, we have made it through countless hurricanes & have managed to survive with whatever resources we had available at that moment & we can do it again.

Its difficult to watch the news & see/hear about all the destruction. Those are places that I have walked the streets of, places I have heard countless stories about from my parents, places I have gone to school, places I have slept, & most importantly places I have/had family. Yes, had. We lost my cousin & her newborn. Im upset that they're gone cuz i feel it was too soon. My cousin was in her early twenties (not that much older than I) & her daughter was only a couple months old. But after thinking about it, nothing ever really happens "too soon". Im excepting it.

I must say its beautiful how most everyone is coming together and helping out though. Whether they’re donating clothes, food, medical supplies, money, or effort. I’d like to personally say thank you to anyone & everyone who has done so. It is greatly appreciated. Thank you for being one of the people helping to bring aid & relief to my country. [even though technically im not supposed to pledge allegiance to any other country besides the US (that’s what the oath was when I became a citizen) but fuck that. Haiti is & always will be my country.

I do think this is a blessing in disguise. Im one of those crazy people who believe everything happens for a reason---sue me. Haiti has been experiencing poverty for way too long. Perhaps this earthquake is what was needed to get us actual help & perhaps once we bounce back from this, we can become better than we were before.

Shouts to Trey, Ashley & Michelle for addressing it in their posts. If people don’t wanna give just out of the kindess of their hearts, maybe they’ll do so cuz they like yall or whatever. Ppl are weird like that. Anyway..thank yall.

& people continue to ask me how im holding up & if im okay & all that jazz. I am. I deal with death differently than most folks. I try not to dwell on it. [ive been told its cuz no one “really close” to me has passed away & bla bla bla bla bla…..**blank stare**-------Again, everything happens for a reason.

So to answer the Q’s: How are you holding up sweetie? How are you dealing?? Are you alright???

The answer is: I am holding up by dealing. I am dealing by living. & yes, I am more than alright. I am not the one trapped under bricks & cement, I am not the one who no longer has a place to call home, I am not the one who is hungry but cannot eat, & I am not the one sleeping in the streets.

We all think we have problems till we hear someone elses story.

Now im sure yall have heard all this before but ima drill it in your head one more time:

DONATE! DONATE!! DONATE!!!

DONATE YOUR TIME: START A CLOTHING/FOOD/MEDICINE DRIVE FOR HAITI

DONATE YOUR VOICE: TALK ABOUT IT. [id rather you be about it but hey, maybe someone’ll get tired of hearing about it & donate to shut you up]

DONATE YOUR MONEY: EVERY CENT COUNTS.

TEXT YELE TO 501501 TO DONATE $5 TO WYCLEF’S YELE FOUNDATION.

TEXT HAITI TO 90999 TO DONATE $10 TO THE RED CROSS.

VISIT WWW.UNICEF.ORG YOU’LL SEE THE ARTICLE “EARTHQUAKE IN HAITI: EMERGENCY AID ARRIVES.” CLICK “DONATE NOW”.

My point is DO SOMETHING. We all have that capacity. & think about if the shoe was on the other foot. Wouldn’t you want assistance?

R.I.P Jesula & Alicia.
Even though i never got the chance to meet baby Alicia, i still love her.
& though yall are gone, im left with the memories.
Rest In Paradise my loves.

have you ever..

..wondered why flowers look so pretty yet smell so effing foul?

..picked your nose when you thought no one was looking? key word: thought

..lied. got caught. then lied again & got off scotch free?

..forgotten to brush your teeth so you went through like 3 packs of winterfresh that day?

..forgot to do the wash so you had to wear a pair of your moms granny panties & went through the whole day hoping it doesnt show through your jeans?

..forgot to do the wash & had to wear one of your lil sisters undies & by hour #3 wanted to unofficially proclaim the day wedgie day?

..what would happen if you drove around your city making only left turns?

..gotten caught masturbating by one of your parents & had to play it off?

..had sex with only your shoes on?
(thats not cute for the men btw. the ladies could get away with it though)

..seen some really explicit shit, told whoever it was who showed it to you how disgusting it was & how you dont wanna see that..........& then you go home & try to find it?

..lied about sleeping with someone?

..clipped your toe nail & then smelled it?



ok im done...& for the record, ive only done like 8 things on this list. lmao. & the brushing your teeth one is definitely not one. im very anal about hygiene.
that is all.
now proceed to silently admit that you too are guilty of some of the aforementioned.

time will tell

"your face will be the reason i smile.

but i will not see what i cannot have forever"

---Maxwell---

girls best friend.

two words: push-up bra

i have like 36 a's or something & depending on my outfit of choice, a push-up bra is a must.
i have no issue with admitting that. not everyone can have Melyssa Ford measurements.
i've always had an issue with finding a good push-up bra though.
now im no pro at bra shopping but im pretty positive that if the bra presses your boobs down instead of pushing em up & out----that probably means its the wrong type/size/whatever.

my bestie taught me a trick tho yesterday which allows you to make any bra (with straps) into a push up one.
just tighten the straps.

i never thought of that but she hooked me up last night & it was so on point. (thanks b. raw. love you babes)

no shame in my game.

.untitled.

i was going through the pics on my cpu & i ran across this joint. i had my sister take this pic of me a year or so ago & it was just a really dark period in my life. i was unhappy on so many levels. now when i look at it i feel a strong sense of accomplishment because im so far past that. i've grown much smarter & im so much more mature. im a stronger person & i love it.

so for anyone going through any issues they think they cant overcome----be more optimistic. theres always sunshine after the rain.