my professor was talking about how someone who has been lacking something for so long latches onto it when they do get it suddenly everything made sense.
sometimes i get attached a lil quicker than i would like to certain people. i think its cuz they embody what i feel i've been missing.
sometimes i get attached a lil quicker than i would like to certain people. i think its cuz they embody what i feel i've been missing.
lets take my "relationship" or whatever it is M Dot & i have for example. Im really feeling buddy. Not just because he's attractive but i like his mind, i love listening to what he has to say, i like his being accepting of me (ditzy & silly moments & all), & i like shutting him up when he gets a lil too big headed. there's more than just a sexual chemistry there.
**sidebar**i made him play patty cake with me & he actually did it! most dudes i know would have just given you the side eye & left it at that. not dude. he actually entertained my silliness.
it was cute that he tried even though he was probably like "wtf....".
anyways...
**sidebar**i made him play patty cake with me & he actually did it! most dudes i know would have just given you the side eye & left it at that. not dude. he actually entertained my silliness.
it was cute that he tried even though he was probably like "wtf....".
anyways...
...i think im so attracted to him because he pretty much represents what i want in a man & how i want to feel when im around him. he brings out the softer side of me. i feel like its perfectly fine to be a tad bit vulnerable. && thats something i havent had in a long time.
if yall have been following my ish from the beginning you'd know im not usually the type to be feeling a nigga like that. i tend to keep em distant so its difficult for me to understand why all of a sudden im feeling some type of way.
im feeling like i need to put my gaurd up even higher now since i actually care about buddy. so yesterday instead of he & i kicking it as planned, i told him id rather work on my homework assignments (which was true in the sense that i did have to work on my photography assignment but a lie in the sense that id rather have been with him)
i changed my mind because i feel like i make myself too available to him. no dudes gonna respect that, they're gonna use it to their advantage & im really tired of getting hurt.
idk.
im rambling.
i guess the moral of this story is: analyze yourself. why do you behave as you do? you might be surprised at how you answer those questions.
if yall have been following my ish from the beginning you'd know im not usually the type to be feeling a nigga like that. i tend to keep em distant so its difficult for me to understand why all of a sudden im feeling some type of way.
im feeling like i need to put my gaurd up even higher now since i actually care about buddy. so yesterday instead of he & i kicking it as planned, i told him id rather work on my homework assignments (which was true in the sense that i did have to work on my photography assignment but a lie in the sense that id rather have been with him)
i changed my mind because i feel like i make myself too available to him. no dudes gonna respect that, they're gonna use it to their advantage & im really tired of getting hurt.
idk.
im rambling.
i guess the moral of this story is: analyze yourself. why do you behave as you do? you might be surprised at how you answer those questions.
you just may be the product of your past
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