...he just has a choice to make.
so i approached M Dot about our status the other day & dude came at me with the "we're a bit more than friends but we're not together" line.
i guess i expected that considering he "doesnt like to put labels on things" & all that ish he came with when we first began kicking it.
so dude basically said "we're friends with benefits for now". he had to throw the 'for now' in there right? confused the hell outta me.
he's a smart nigga though. i'll tell you that. cuz he knows if he just said we are friends with benefits (which i dont care what anybody says, means 'fuck buddies') i would have most likely had some slick shit to say & probably would have cut him off or something.
but once he put that "for now" in there, shit made me type hopeful.
smart motherfucker.
i told a friend of mine about what happened & he basically thinks dude is full of shit. he told me "if dude took that long to come up with yall being "friends with benefits", its going to take him longer to decide he wants to be with you"
now thats a valid ass point.
shit sucks for me though cuz im the type of person who tends to give folks the benefit of the doubt just because you don't always know a person's situation, you know? you never know why they behave or see the world as they do so i dont like to scratch em off right off the bat.
**sidebar: maybe thats why im always getting hurt. hm**
i know this is gonna sound madd ignorant & foolish, cuz thats what i think when i look at the situation from a 3rd persons viewpoint,
BUT
im giving him a chance.
he has until late December to get it together.
he said that he wants to see where this can go & what feelings will develop but idk. sounds like crap. (but then again, one never truly knows.)
all in due time though. i'll try & keep yall updated.
right now im going to focus on keeping he & i distant & re-conditioning myself to keep my guard up & think like a nigga. i think i need to take it back to how i used to be.
anyways.
he has like two months & some change to get it together.
(in two months it'll be a new year soooo if shit doesnt work out i'll start fresh. no biggie.)
& as i said: its not an ultimatum. he just has a choice to make.
that he doesnt know about.
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I think it'll work if ya'll get to know each other on a friend level first, but then again, it might be akward when ya'll do become an item.
ReplyDeleteBut...
I think after being hurt so many times, you want that loving relationship. Fuck the friendship, you just want a relationship because you think that's how it's supposed to work out.
Confusing shit...
one thing my friend told me that has stuck with me since is "DON'T PUT ALL OF YOUR EGGS IN ONE BASKET." Although it's hard for me to really follow this, it's something to live by and it'll keep you from getting hurt. I also, like you, am good for giving a nigga the benefit of the doubt. there's nothing anyone can say to a grown person who's hopeful so whether you think he's lying or not, only you are the person who can and will make the decision to leave him alone. but i do SUGGEST you stick to your instinct and more importantly, stick to your word. if you say dec. and you don't see any progress leave that niggi in the dust. good luck with everything, sweetie! i hope whatever YOU want to happen happens.
ReplyDeleteits not so much i want a relationship because i feel thats how its supposed to work out. its just that im not really with the platonic shit anymore. if im with someone i'd rather we be exclusive than anything else. but i've been thinking about it & a healthy relationship is something i cant rush or make happen. i just have to be patient.
ReplyDelete& i definitely agree about not putting all my eggs into one basket. i look at it like this: you cant burn your bridges if you havent yet made it across. & my word is bond. im not big on wasting time so Dec is his deadline to get it together. besides, if he hasnt developed any new feelings for me by then, its not happening period so im doing us both a favor.
as always, thanks for taking the time to peep my shit ladies. good points on both yall parts