31.7.09

Such A Dude

i have male tendencies. straight up. like relationship wise, i can be like a straight dude.

i was running some errands earlier & i saw some dudes just kicking it & all of em were fine. im talking F.I.N.E. you know when you see somebody & they just look so good you dont know what to say?? lol. that was my situation. there were like 4 or 5 of em mugs & each and every one of em got finer than the last....i was like "damn son. i have half a mind to do a u-turn & holla at em------------then i rememberd i was a girl & thats not a good look..lol

but that got me thinking like "damn..im such a man!". i've gotten to the point where i dont really sweat a dude. like i'll be texting a dude & just forget about his ass. i'll know he replied to me but i wont really read it till like 30 mins later or till i get annoyed at the lil message icon on my phone. or some dude'll be like "i miss you" & i'll be like "thats cool". its crazy but kinda funny..& sad at the same time.

crazy cuz i used to be the girl that was so affectionate & so caring & all that----& i still am..its just a dude has gotta show me that he's worth me caring about him like that now cuz when i care, im all in...im no longer straight sweetness from the top

funny cuz i'll find myself thinking like a dude & saying some off the wall type stuff only a real asshole of a dude would say & meaning it (ex: you down for some dome?....ona, giving not recieving)

sad cuz i think its a defense mechanism that just happend. i figure if you go into something with no expectations & you remain unnatached you wont get hurt as much & considering my past, thats a pretty damn good idea.

idk..maybe theres a dude out there who can get me back to sweet lil old me more often. (is it you??) in the meantime---->ima stick to my dude tendencies. yessir.

&& to the dudes who i've talked to/talk to/will talk to..dont take it personal cuz its not you---its me. i told yall. this girls got baggage

No comments:

Post a Comment