.screams.

im sorry guys =(

i know i havent done a new post in a min & its not for lack of things to discuss (i have o so many!)
i just have no time.
school & work got me all tied up at this point in time.

&& right now its about time i hit the sheets.

xoxo. huns. i'll post something soon

epitome.

kimora lee simmons
she is the epitome of what i see myself being down the road.

established
professional
fabulous
bold
daring
outspoken
mother
lover
businesswoman
successful

i pray that all my work pays off & that im able to attain at least half of the love
& success she has.

"determination" is more than a word to me. its my way of life
"i just wanna be successful"

own that shit

if yall been following the posts recently, yall know what issues i had with my hair. im so picky----from the shoes i wear to the water i drink & i just had a problem with finding someone who could get it right.

yall should know the whole back story so im just gonna say that i finally got it done right. i didnt like it at first cuz again, thats not exactly how i wanted it but its growing on me =)
***sidebar***i've been getting so many compliments on it, its ridiculous. (now yall know i dont give a hoot what folks think but the compliments are nice to hear)

any who...even though this isint how i wanted my hair (exactly)...im feeling it.
shouts to Adrian at Hollywood Salons for hooking me up.

fxxn fabulous

smile.

Imma Star (Everywhere We Are) - Jeremih

at first i didnt really like the song. sounded like another "look at me getting money" track but once the video came out, i automatically loved it. dude seems like he's not afraid to act a fool. loves it!

this joint always makes me smile =)

#fact

im known to hold grudges.
cross me & i will not forget it

though i dont allow negative feelings towards folks to run my life i do use them to base certain decisions on. im a genuinely caring person & sometimes i get taken advantage of. i admit that at times i do put myself in those situations but there are times when you truly think you can believe in someone because they have no reason to do you wrong.

one thing i've learned though is: a reason isint always needed. sometimes folks do you wrong for the simple fact that they can.

words of wisdom: watch who you let in & be aware of how much access you provide em with
xoxo. Marie

.one of those days.

yesterday was one of the worst days i've had in a while. im still in quite a sour mood but i realize that won't change my situation.

sometimes you find yourself in some pretty fucked up situations & all you can do is fasten your seat belt & ride it out.

though im not the type to just sit by & let shit happen------especially when things aren't going my way--------i know sometimes fighting won't get me anywhere.

sooooo
im starting my engine

& to all the folks i neglected to talk to today: its still nothing but love guys. just needed to get it together. xoxo. i'll be back to my old self after some sleep.

at least lets hope so.lol

SOME BULLSHIT

so i did that previous post a tad bit too soon.
guess what??? now this chick is saying if she comes & does my hair tomorrow ima have to pay her again.
um. idk what the fuck shortys smoking but shits got her mind gone if she honestly thinks ima do that.

heres our earlier text conversation when she said she'd do it tomorrow

me: so the hair has definitley not grown on me. i dont like it

her: i havent forgotten about the rihanna i been busy so you wanna get something else?

me: yea cuz this one isint working

her: ok im doing hair today & tomorrow but ima hit you up

me: if anything it has to be done tomorrow cuz i have work monday through wednesday & thursday through sunday i have to go to school for registration & classes start next monday so im not gonna have any time

her: ok but if tomorrow it'll be in the evening

me: thats fine as long as it gets done. lemme know though so i can take it out

her: yea you can take it out

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
me: who is buying the hair?

her: what style you want

me: ima send you the pic. its just long & curly with a side bang. & i want the part to show. lemme know if you get the pic

her: i cant see what kinda hair that is but thats why i asked you if you were sure before i left cuz i got 6 heads to do today & tomorrow and if i buy human hair that'll take all the money you gave me for doing your hair in the first place.

me: what if you buy a pack & i buy one cuz i dont have enough for two. i'll try & find out what type it is & let you know

her: ok but thats another sew-in so.....

me: soooo what?

her:what you mean what was the agreement when i left your house

me: that youd come back & redo it. i told you id have to see if it grew on me. you tryna say if you come back & do it tomorrow i gotta pay again?

her: i said if the rihanna if it came out ok on my manican id come back and do that for free i havent even had a chance to try that but where'd the long hair bang idea come from and i thought i offered to pay for the hair i cut and just not continue with the bob but what did you say

me: pause. you failed to answer the question. so you're saying that if you come redo it tomorrow that i gotta pay again.

her: what do you think

me: what is up with all the encrypted replies? it doesnt matter what i think, it matters what you tryna say so say it. simple yes or no question.

her: yes

me: alright. fuck it.

her: ok have a nice day
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

what the fuck dude. i understand its a recession but gotdamn. do we really gotta resort to this level of bullshit?

swear i wanna break a nail fucking her up right now.
"have a nice day"?? um bitch. while i do that, how about you kiss my ass.

.hair update.

soooo remember how i was telling yall how im so not feeling my hair?

well i curled it last night before going out & it didnt look too bad but i still couldnt get with it. i can rock the hell outta some hair now but this one. its just not happening.

**sidenote**
i have half a mind to get upset & go get my real hair cut a la Rihanna. shit, short is sexy.
plus this FL heat be killing.

anyways. i texted the girl today like look, this isint working. i dont like it so what are we gonna do?
(i already paid her for this one so she has to do it cuz i sure as hell am not pulling money outta my ass to let somebody else do it. she got paid so i expect her to hook it up till it gets right---plus that was her idea---.........................i support a hustle you know but i also want my joint on point.

she says yea, she'll hook it up but shes doing hair today & tomorrow. thats cool but ima need her to add me to that tomorrow list cuz im not gonna have any free time really beginning monday. between work, registration for classes, & the beginning of classes i'll be lucky if i get a chance to use the bathroom.

so basically we're looking at her hooking me up tomorrow afternoon. im definitely getting something simple now. she wants me to take my hair out now but i think i'll do that tomorrow morn. cuz i dont wanna hear how something happened & blah blah blah.

pray for me yall... i dont wanna rock a hat to school every day for the upcoming month & i def cant rock one at work..lol

i want.

these snakeskin shades so BAD!they also have em in green & some other colors but these are bad ass.
&& they're only $10!

check em at www.houseofsunglasses.com all the shades are $10 plus if you buy at least three pairs you get free shipping

girls best friend.

two words: push-up bra

i have like 36 a's or something & depending on my outfit of choice, a push-up bra is a must.
i have no issue with admitting that. not everyone can have Melyssa Ford measurements.
i've always had an issue with finding a good push-up bra though.
now im no pro at bra shopping but im pretty positive that if the bra presses your boobs down instead of pushing em up & out----that probably means its the wrong type/size/whatever.

my bestie taught me a trick tho yesterday which allows you to make any bra (with straps) into a push up one.
just tighten the straps.

i never thought of that but she hooked me up last night & it was so on point. (thanks b. raw. love you babes)

no shame in my game.

so wrong

so yall know how excited i was about my hair. well yesterday was the day i had been waiting on. i was super excited cuz i had never gotten my hair done in the hairstyle that i wanted to try out. it was supposed to be like the rihanna pixie cut but as yall can see if yall peep my previous post. its so not. the girl who did my hair couldnt do it right & so i ended up getting this bob which still has to grow on me cuz i dont really like it. now im kinda annoyed cuz thats not how i wanted my hair in the first place & on top of that i think it could have been done better.

now the way i see it, i have three options:
1. i can take it as a loss & just take my hair out
2. i can take it out & find something simple & ask her to re-do it
or
3. i can rock the hell out of my hair the way it is & own it

i havent decided what ima do yet. i'll see what happens.

in the meantime im gonna fuck around with this style & see maybe if i can make it work

espanol.

all i needed

i asked moms what she thought about me getting like her & becoming a home health aid while im in school. she was kinda like its not the best move for me & whatnot & then she went into how i dont listen & i should have taken nursing classes while in high school last year.

shit pissed me off cuz its like why the hell would i take nursing if im not interested in pursuing that field? i wanted to do the massage therapy thing while taking university classes cuz my schedule will be more flexible but thats just not working out right now.

another thing that really got to me is that i didnt ask her for all that. i asked a simple question & she took it to a whole other level where it didnt need to go

...all i needed was her support.

but with or without it, if i can make this home health aid thing work, ima do it

.confession.

felt like SUPERMAN

the came out the KRYPTONITE

.fetish

i feel sexiest when i have a pair of my bad girls (heels) on
i love how they empasize my calves & further elongate my legs
makes me go: owww

.untitled.

i was going through the pics on my cpu & i ran across this joint. i had my sister take this pic of me a year or so ago & it was just a really dark period in my life. i was unhappy on so many levels. now when i look at it i feel a strong sense of accomplishment because im so far past that. i've grown much smarter & im so much more mature. im a stronger person & i love it.

so for anyone going through any issues they think they cant overcome----be more optimistic. theres always sunshine after the rain.

style.

rihanna is the epitome of style. her fashion sense is crazy so props to her stylist.
my style ranges from preppy to street & no matter how im dressing i always aim to incorporate some of rihannas style into my look.









whether shes dressed up or dressed down, shes gorgeous. she's like a refined Fefe Dobson. Always edgy yet always regal. Loves it

decided

...for now. lol. i've finally figured out what im gonna do with this hair of mine! as of right now im dead decided on this look. ima try & keep it a secret (& not change my mind..lol) till i get it in cuz i wanna surprise you guys =) but im pretty much decided.

now its just a matter of finding someone who wont fuck my shit up..lol. im thinking of going back & messing with Tony (dudes done my hair twice & its been fierce both times. he's so on point. but i want my joint sewn in not bonded this time around & he doesnt sew =(

sooooooooo. let the search begin!

p.s

i know ive been slacking on the blogging tip but all ive slept, breathed, dreamed about this past week has been work. my main focus now (since school isint in session) is stacking guapington. **sidenote** as i was dealing with some bitchassness at work last night i came up with my new mantra for when im over there-------------------------->dont get mad. get money.


fuck the bs the customers & my co-workers be on. long as im getting mi dinero im good. keep that in mind next time you doing something youd rather not. theres a purpose behind it.

sometimes...

..what you want isint what you need. you gotta put aside what you think will make you happy in the short term for whats gonna behoove you in the long run.------------------------------------------i gotta keep that in mind these upcoming weeks if what i think/hope is gonna happen indeed does.

OWWWWWWW!

EXCLUSIVE TRACK FROM THE HOMEY TAZ MULA MONEY & MARC PAPERS. ITS CALLED “WHY YOU MAD”. SHITS SO OFFICIAL. IF YOU’RE NOT WITH IT, YOU’RE LOST.

BTW: I NEVER WRITE IN ALL CAPS SO YOU KNOW THIS IS BIG.

CHECK IT.

& I KNOW YALL GON WANNA DOWNLOAD IT SO HERES THE LINK:

http://www.zshare.net/audio/6370085839fd019c/

DON’T BE SHY

pics courtesy of: tazmoney31.blogspot.com , myspace.com/tazmulamoney & myspace.com/marctherapper

guyssss

guys are always saying how they cant stand clingy women & im the same way. i cant stand a dude thats always on my shit. its like yea i know you feeling me & obviously the pussy's good cuz you're always tryna get me over your place but damn. stop being borderline assaulting.

if you must ask me to come over all the time & i never do then obviously i dont want to. so leave it alone.

shit gets me upset like damn, "what the fuck you got on? boxer-briefs or panties??" stop acting like a bitch.

theres nothing wrong with showing you care about somebody or constantly conversing with someone but once you always bringing the same shit up & asking for the same thing...it makes you look weak.

now im not asking a dude to ignore me either but damn. can we have a balance? like we dont even go out & havent kicked it like that since i dont know when. tighten up

im just saying---the same way yall hate it when a girl is all on your dick..it gets on my nerves 30 times worse when a dude it too clingy or comes off too aggressive.

can we get that together please gents.

i mean this as no disrespect my dudes but im saying tho

me.me..all about me

i was reading Paris' blog (parislovesparis.blogspot.com) & i saw this post. so as i sit waiting for the re-run of tonights Burn Notice to air, i decided...why not do it??

Proust Questionaire.

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
.realizing all my dreams. making my family proud & being a positive role model for my younger sisters & nephew. being at a point in my life where i dont need my guard up. making the big bucks on my own & breaking barriers. living MY american dream.----"i just wanna be successful"

What is your greatest fear?
.not realizing all my dreams..never experiencing love in its truest form...dying without leaving behind something positive that'll impact this world forvever

On what occasion do you lie?
.as much as i dont like it, i lie to my parents about certain things when i feel that my happiness is being compromised. im all "live for today cuz tomorrow isint promised" & sometimes my parents rules intefere with that. im not proud of it but at the end of the day i gotta live for me.


What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
.i lack patience

What trait do you most deplore in others?
.no loyalty..saying something & doing the opposite. being fake

What living person do you most admire?
.Barack Obama. he broke every barrier that had been previously thought of as unbreakable

What is your greatest extravagance?
.cuddled up on a rainy night watching movies on the sofa..just hanging out with my dude (whoever the hell that happens to be) cuz when im with someone, usually being in their presence makes me happy

What is your current state of mind?
.thoughtful

What do you dislike most about your appearance?
.i have oily skin...blech. its controlable but i hate it

Which living person do you most despise?
.sadists. live & let live you know. dont hate on someone elses happiness

What is the quality you most like in a man?
.loyalty

What is the quality you most like in a woman?
.strength

Which word or phrase do you most overuse?
.shit. fuck. nigga.-----i have a dirty mouth

What or who is the greatest love of your life?
.the number one man in my life. my nephew Seth. my love for him potentially rivals my love for myself

When and where were you happiest?
.when im surrounded with people who love & understand/accept me & when im alone---it can be wherever under the previously stated conditions

Which talent would you most like to have?
.i wanna learn to play the violin so bad.

Where would you most like to live?
.South Beach Miami, NY, LA

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
.sometimes i wish i was more obedient for my dads sake..i think living my life how i think is right doesnt make him too happy. & i dont care what folks think but my parents are different. they sacrificed a lot for us so sometimes that saddens me that the things i want for myself differ so much from the ones he wants for me

What do you consider your greatest achievement?
.i havent yet attained that

What is your most treasured possession?
.everything that i've gotten myself.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
.having no one to go to & unable to be yourself. constantly having to watch your back & being afraid to put it all out there

What is your favorite occupation?
.living life & learning its lessons i guess

What do you value most in your friends?
.loyalty & dedication

What is your most marked characteristic?
.my walk

If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
.i honestly dont know

Who are your favorite writers?
.i like zane, sister souljah & stephenie meyer

Who is your hero of fiction?
.xena

Which historical figure do you most identify with?
.Joan of Arc

What are your favorite names?
.San'ai-Elise & Tristan

What do you most dislike?
.being judged or labled & disrespected. being unappreciated

What is your greatest regret?
.um. no regrets really. i've just learned to make things happen. stop being afraid of rejection & go for it

How would you like to die?
."After having spent my day with someone whom I am in love with, making love, eating, and spending it as well with my family and then in my sleep peacefully."-----Paris (i concur. thats how id like to go)

What is your motto?
."Dont die wondering"--------"Just do it"---------"Live Love Learn"

EXCLUSIVE

New joint, "Why You Mad" by Taz Mula Money & Marc Papers.
Track speaks for itself so check it


http://www.zshare.net/audio/6370085839fd019c/


CRACK.

Soooooo

...while im waiting on Taz to give me the site so i can upload his joint, im gonna tell yall bout my day at work.

surprisingly, it was a pretty good one. my customers werent the least bitchy, my till wasnt short, & i was all smiles. it actually got me thinking that work isint so bad when im working with the right people. today everyone that was there was pretty chill & i liked conversing with a lot of em. so thats what i did. that made the time not seem so long also.

plus things are looking up concerning the whole new job thing. i still want a better one but as far as this week goes, im getting madd hours. thats a complete 180 from how i was feeling yesterday (yesterday they had too many people & they sent me home like ten mins after i got there). today however, i found out that my manager wants to promote me to customer service lead & she added me to the schedule tomorrow & friday. can you say cha-ching??

soo as much as i dislike the job, im damn good at it & shit actually looks like it might go somewhere. im not tryna become a manager or anything---Lord knows id go crazy----but im getting a chance to possibly make more money & i am NOT turning that down. so im sucking it up & hanging in there.

let yall know what happens.

sexy.sexy

i havent the slightest idea how i came to this conclusion: but lips are one of the sexiest parts on a person
especially us females. & our bodies are a beautiful thing.
now idk if its this zinfandel in my system or this she wolf joint that was on a min ago but shiiiiit.
i was inspired to do an impromptu photo opp..




photography & model: yours effing truly
**sidebar** my phones camera is (in kanye voice) "amazing"

meeeeeeeee

a rare moment of laughter for absolutely no reason
=)
enough said

on a brighter note..

i freaking LOVE Cyndi Lauper! i know thats so random but they were having "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" earlier (LOVE that joint) & i remembered how much i love her. shes amazing. from songs like "time after time" to "true colors" to of course "girls just wanna have fun". plus she's really quirky & eccentric. gotta love it.

there are also other artists of the 80's that i like. most of which i only know a song or two by so im not gonna say i love them..lol..but they're hot. like, The Go-Go's, The Romantics, Chris Deburgh, Bill Medley, & of course Ms. Whitney Houston.

the eighties was a good era..lol. thats funny considering i wasnt born yet but i love 80's music cuz it was all fun & the lyrics had meaning. it wasnt all that excess stupid shit thats out now (even though i like a lot of that stupid shit..lol). its still a whole different vibe. loves it.

below are a couple of my fave 80's songs. enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mft3_A6qtRA
i had to post the link for Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"..none of em have the embedded link =(


I love the old Whitney..before the drugs & all that. Looking forward to her new album tho. Really wanna see what she does with it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_1BGKNk85M
i couldnt embed the Go-Go's either =( wack ass youtube. click on it tho. shit puts me in a good mood

ugh

sometimes i really cant stand people. they make me wanna scream! maybe its me cuz sometimes i just get in an irritable mood & the smallest thing annoys me. i'll own up to that. but on the flip side, people can be so freaking annoying.

its times like these i wish i was two years older so i could get up outta here. .sigh. all in good time.